Sweaty Mule Ass and other Zipline stories

The Zipline group, ready to roll!

Where to start with the story...In late April, we signed up for a combo adventure trip in the Sierra Madre mountains outside of Puerto Vallarta: comprised of ATV / zipline / tequila tasting / horseback ride / ending with ATV back to base camp.

We started with a lengthy ATV trip riding up a dirt mountain road, with our little group of 7 revelers and our lead guide Ramirez, and “Chulamama” and “Chulapapa” (which apparently means cute mama and cute papa – they were both handsome young men who accepted their fate as the chulas under Ramirez’ rule. It was all very fun and festive). The other five were a couple from Red Deer, AB and a family from Toronto. Wearing our bandanas to protect from the non-stop dust assault, we wove our way along the dirt road to the zip lines.

This is not the recommended place to drop off

from gulley to jungle, we had some air time!

We traversed rocky trails to experience  nine zip lines – over gulleys, rivers, jungles and forests. Each of us carefully nestled into the climbing harnesses under careful guidance of our guides, we took turns being the lead and last traveler. 

I am sure this serves as some kind of therapy!

Climbing to the Kamikaze zipline

No one got lost, no one fell (well except for the guy who broke the support fence and fell backwards off the platform), several tried “the Superman” (facing forward layout in the harness), some of us screamed in delight and smiles were prevalent from ear to ear. Fair to say, everyone had a great time.

The tequilas were made in-house up in the mountains, some of them sold as blanco, reposado and añejo (young, aged 6+ months, old). Their specialty seemed to be the flavored (sweet) varieties: pomegranate with seeds, pomegranate / cherry, almond and coffee. Each enjoyed small shot glasses, followed by the offer to purchase any and all for a fine price. And, so we supported their business and bought the yet unopened coffee one, which tastes dangerously delicious (this coming from me, a total non-coffee drinker.)

The quiet cowboy and my horse

And now to the sweaty mule ass story! So, the 5 Canadians fall off from our little group, and ride ATVs back down the mountain while Mike and I were escorted to our horses for our mountain ride. My guide spoke no English and didn’t socialize at all, even with my attempts to speak Spanish with him. Mike’s guide, turns out, lived in Hillsboro, Oregon for 6 years and name-dropped every town around the Willamette Valley he knew. 

The guides rode mules, which apparently are smarter than horses and more willing to stay on the trail - so we consider that a good thing. We were lightly tethered from mule to horse following very closely behind as we rode the mountain road. I was really OK with not being set free for my frisky horse to go at its own pace. Mike rode at his own pace with his guide behind us, with the warning to avoid getting too close to my horse as they did not get along.

The reality: dusty trails after a 'clean start'

pre-dusty ATV trip

My chestnut horse didn’t like sticking around behind the mule so we would nuzzle up to the sweaty mule’s ass quite frequently. Can you say, ‘awkward’?  I didn’t really mind my leg being wedged between my horse and that sweaty butt - although it was hot and we were all sweaty... That wasn’t the deal. It was more that mules have been known to buck and yours truly was in direct range of that right leg back kick, which I didn't have on my agenda. Of course, none of my attempts to convince the horse to back off (Spanish or English command?) or to explain this situation to my super silent cowboy (Spanish) did any good. When you get ‘stink eye’ from your horse, you know you’d best just be agreeable.

The incredible view of Puerto Vallarta valley

The vista from the mountain road was incredible: overlooking the entire Puerto Vallarta valley with Banderas Bay sparkling blue and the lush mountains beyond. No easy feat to capture that in a photo. We have to capture so many things as they happen in our hearts and minds as memories. That’s what makes them special, I believe.

Plenty of crocodiles at Marina 
Vallarta - with appropriate
'no swimming' signs!

We spent a few magical days at Marina Vallarta in Puerto Vallarta, meeting a couple we were introduced to by mutual friends, so that makes it a special connection. We moved on for a few days to Marina de La Cruz with our buddy boating friends and another couple - all friends from our days in Guaymas. We are together now at Isla Isabela, a nature preserve where we hiked trails among the blue footed boobies and magnificent frigatebirds. Watchful frigate birds nest in the trees, the baby boobies are shedding their down and they all stay close as they have no predators and are fearless around humans. 

We snorkeled along the cool rock formations but that was cut short by the many jellyfish stings we all experienced. Following happy hour on Pura Vida with our group tonight, probably tomorrow we'll all head on to Mazatlan, another 19-20 hour trip @ 5 nm / hour.

4 finishing salts served
with our dinner at a restaurant in Marina Vallarta

Mike's mezcal presentation: seed pods
served with orange slices

Lots of panga fisherman at the island

One of the cool rocks at Isla Isabela

Sunrise as I started my shift at 6AM

We had a stowaway
yellow headed blackbird
on board - for the 16.5 
hours from Punta Mita to Isla Isabela

 

The moon and it’s splendid glory

Our dinghies resting at Alfonso's, Mantanchen Bay

We had the incredible opportunity of experiencing the solar eclipse - sitting on the stern of our boat - on April 8th in Mazatlan, Sinaloa. We bobbed happily in Marina Mazatlan and watched, with so many others, as the experience unfolded. It was awesome and breathtaking. The crowds and atmosphere were hushed in awe, well except for some joker on another boat playing Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon. I guess they couldn’t help but break the beautiful silence. There for a moment after a few minutes, you get to thinking, boy I hope this darkness passes - because it’s on the cusp of a Sci-Fi movie. 

While everyone is lauding the performance of the sun during the eclipse, I am thinking the moon should get some pretty top billing, too. In fact, the next night, as we left Mazatlan on our journey south through the night, the moon shone in its brief glory. 

As the sun dropped into the dark blue sea, the tiniest crescent of moon appeared above the afterglow on the horizon and hung there, mostly in shadow except for a slice of bumpy white bottom. It was as if to say, I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve. If you thought yesterday was cool, check this out. And so I did and thought I was pretty darn lucky to have both experiences, so different from one day to the next. 

Whilst I tried to take photos, a sloshing boat is not conducive to taking photos of the delicate moon phase. It was a very rough night for me. Seasick, doing my best to keep my 'shift' from 7 - midnight but alas, that was not to be. It became a tough night for both of us. For me, the sometimes cruel rock n roll of the sea; for Mike, the broken cadence of getting any sleep between my issues. Bottom line, we are still talking!

Can't show you the moon but the sunset was nice

I really have a thing about the moon. It’s a very important part of our boating lives with the monthly changes in nature, from tides to night brightness, to watching the waxing and waning as the days pass. And I just happen to like the mystery associated with it, as well. 

Pool privileges at Marina Vallarta, Dock M

We are in Puerto Vallarta docked happily at Marina Vallarta and earlier this week, walked through the evening artisanal market along the malecon. Along with buying Oaxacan tamales and Venezuelan empanadas, there was plenty of stuff to admire, but it was a young lady selling botanical art that drew me in. Wearing floral jewelry, according to her, "harmonizes us  and guides us  towards well-being".  Well, there you go. I am happy with my selection. The crescent moon is filled with lantana, a local flower sealed in resin. 

Filling water jugs at Chacala

Yacca fruit at San Blas

At the dock Marina Vallarta

Since my last writing and this last moon cycle, we’ve covered a lot of nautical miles and plenty of miles walking: 

 El Quelite – taxi ride from Mazatlan with our friends, along with a stop near La Noria, where we had a fabulous tour and tasting at Los Osuna, distillery of tequila (in their words: Tequila in the Process, But Not from the Region – as true tequila is made from blue agave grown in the tequila “AVA”). Our bilingual guide was fabulous and informative. 

Incredible natural history museum in CDMX

Mexico City – we had a most pleasant flight on Aero Mexico, where we spent 6 days exploring around the massive city based out of our nice Air BNB in Roma Sur. Mexico City (CDMX) is truly an overwhelming place! We went during Easter week as we’d learned from more than one Mexican that it’s the least crowded time in CDMX as the “locals” are off to the beaches. There’s still a ton of people and traffic and noise. 

Following the eclipse, we left Mazatlan on April 9th and have sailed ~ 206 NM, via: 

Great but buggy eve at the beach, Mantanchen

Mangrove and crocodile tour

Mantanchen Bay / San Blas – known for their unforgiving no see ums and banana bread, we did the Kiekari mangrove nature-filled boat ride and crocodile tour while Alonso watched our dinghies on shore. Alonso was the guy at the palapa bar and in his genuine effort to provide excellent customer service, drove Mike in his car to buy tequila since he only offered cerveza and Mike is allergic to beer. After the long ride to town and the local liquor shop, we felt like we needed to sit on the beach to enjoy that specially secured beverage, 30-30 brand reposado (not recommended). While we sat on the beach, Alonso burned extensive coconut husks and shells for us as the smoke reduces bug attacks. Regardless, Mike and I served as a very tasty dinner for those little bastards, and we’ve suffered the itchy, red welts for many, many days. 

Guacamole & margs at Chacala

Chacala – where banda music fills the anchorage all night, and the expanse of beach and beach-front palapas are filled with visitors from all over. 

La Cruz – a sleepy village that we have some history with from prior visits, but it has grown up dramatically since our last visit in 2016. 

Puerto Vallarta – a bustling sprawling city that’s a 10-peso (~.59) bus ride from our marina. It’s such a delight with many offerings of color, food, entertainment, nature and so much to experience. We’re planning our zip line, horse / mule, and ATV ride for this week. We have a few more days before moving on to new adventures and are deciding our possible routes north. We’re still with our buddy boating friends who we’ve been with for several weeks. Since they are on a cat and we are on a heavy monohull, we travel at different paces.

Mantanchen Bay - Alfonso's palapa

at the dock, Marina Vallarta

Basilica Guadalupe, PV

Let's work on the engine for a change

Los Osuna tasting - we did a good job!

Aztec art at the natural history museum

Our lady of Fatima altar - PV

Low hanging yacca fruit-San Blas